A Spiritual Memoir · Out Now in India

I Am Water,
Not The Wave

A memoir of losing himself and finding what can't be lost.

Mohit Mishra · Foreword by Paula & Frank Spronk

A called-off wedding. A startup to build. A man negotiating terms with God at 3 a.m. — and expected at a pitch meeting the next morning.

What makes I Am Water, Not The Wave distinctive is that it does not present spirituality as an escape from ordinary life. Instead, it explores how spiritual understanding can transform the way one experiences relationships, ambition, disappointment, desire, work, and everyday existence.
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Paperback & Hardcover · Worldwide edition September 2026

I Am Water, Not The Wave by Mohit Mishra

About the Book

A called-off wedding. A startup to build. A man negotiating terms with God at 3 a.m. — and expected at a pitch meeting the next morning.

When Mohit Mishra's life pressed hard reset, he wasn't on a retreat. He was building a company, chasing investors, walking out of rooms where he'd been called names, and grieving a future that had just vanished. "I wasn't just heartbroken," he writes. "I was existence-broken." And in that breaking—before he had any words for it—the knot of who he thought he was quietly came loose. The collapse was not only the wound; it was the key. What looked like an ending unlocked the one question that could set him free: Who am I, really, without the story I've been selling to myself?

What follows is intimate, funny, disarmingly honest, and quietly rigorous—part travelogue, part inner therapy, part spiritual memoir. Following the Upanishads, the Buddha's inquiry, Rumi's longing, and the Gita's surrender down to their shared root, Mohit finds every tradition arriving at the same living silence. Unexpected "lanterns" light the way: a Dutch couple who point him to what he is beneath thought; a monk in Kerala who turns scripture into a living mirror; an octogenarian in California whose dining table reveals the oneness beneath religions; ten days of total silence in a German village; a monastery in Rishikesh where the lineage first caught fire; and a Himalayan camp where the highest thought becomes lived clarity.

And at the centre of that silence is one image, first heard from his Dutch lanterns, that lodged itself in the cave of his heart: "As a little wave in the ocean of waves, know that you are water — and not the wave."

From the Pages

There are certain thoughts that don't just pass through the mind, but quietly rearrange the furniture of your entire life. Once in a while, a different kind of thought appears. It doesn't add anything new to your personality. Instead, it does something far more subversive: it loosens the very knot of who you think you are.

Prologue

The Highest Thought

Her eyes glistened. Tears began to stream down her cheeks slowly, without noise or theatrics. They didn't jump or fall; they travelled. It was the kind of crying that comes from a well so deep that even time cannot quite dry it. Without a word, I reached out and held her hand.

Part IV — Lolita, Palo Alto

The Funeral Where All Religions Merged in Oneness

"Keep the aim of entertaining the highest thought at all times. Even if you fail, come back and be full of Godliness so that the world does not overpower you. Be regular in your satsang and sadhana. My love is always with you."

Part VI — Swami Abhedananda, Sidhbari

The Camp to the Infinite

Body is seen. Mind is seen. Roles are seen. Whatever is seen cannot be the final seer. And yet the seer is not some special object I can point to. It is not a thing I can take out and show like an ID card. I am simply… the one to whom all of this appears.

Part II — Frank & Paula, The Netherlands

The Silent Coach to Utrecht

"There is nothing to forgive, only to thank. The one who has hurt you is simply a postman delivering the results of your prarabdha. Everything that happens, happens for your best. You are where you should be."

Part III — Swami Advayananda, Kerala

Questions on a Birthday

True freedom is not the conquest of the world. It is the quiet conquest of oneself. Freedom from the compulsion to follow every whim. Freedom from the tyranny of craving. It is the joy of self-mastery. The calm of non-reactivity. The quiet fullness of a heart that no longer needs to grasp.

Epilogue

True Freedom

God + Desire = Man. When desire falls, what remains is not emptiness, but the Infinite that was always there. Man — Desire = God. The moment we stop defining ourselves by what we lack, we begin to recognise what we are. Not a wave chasing water, but water appearing as a wave.

Epilogue

The Secret

Mohit Mishra

Technologist · Entrepreneur · Seeker

Mohit Mishra is an India-born technologist and entrepreneur living in the Netherlands. Educated in Computer Science and Engineering at IIT (BHU) Varanasi, he co-founded a civic mobility startup that was later acquired.

While building his company, a personal crisis drew him inward — into the living traditions of Advaita Vedanta, and the timeless question: Who am I, really?

I Am Water, Not The Wave is his debut book.

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From the Epilogue

Another day has gone by
Without seeing You
I see Your beauty in this world
But when do I get to see You?

You gave this world to me
I give up this world for You

A great silence is coming over me
I wonder why I use language
The tongue knows not how to speak
The heart sings in a thousand silent ways

Another day is going by
I cannot wait anymore

Take me to Your furnace
Burn me, melt me away
Make me Your flute
And play it as You wish

The touch of Your lips
The dance of Your fingers
The warmth of Your breath
The sweetness of Your music

Now I say no more
Words obstruct You
Now I think no more
Thoughts veil You
Now I desire no more
Desires ignore You

Now I undress
To just be
Silence

I am That
I am That
I am That

Foreword

I Am Water, Not The Wave is a report of a beautiful journey of a sincere spiritual seeker.

When God presents Himself to us, and we spontaneously bow our heads in sheer reverence and love, from that moment a holy magic starts to unfold itself. From that moment onwards, one is guided through the jungle of life. This book is a report of this unfoldment with inspirational events, experiences and meetings with spiritual persons.

We, Paula and I, are disciples of Swami Chinmayananda. We recognised Gurudev's holiness from the very start and were in His Presence many times. Greatness was in His oration, His brilliance, His humour, but foremost, most important… He introduced us to the 'Beyond', the Transcendental. He woke us up to the Real by the immeasurable depth of His very Being. From our first prostration, it was He who was the architect and protector of our future. Our gratitude to Pujya Gurudev and beloved Swami Tejomayanada, His successor, is inexpressible (although we keep on trying to sing the song).

We know Mohit personally and meet him weekly in our Advaita Vedanta study group (chinmayavedanta.nl). We see him as a student with great spiritual potential: alertness, intelligence. He is loving, respectful and sincere. We are surprised by his literary skill; the reader will easily go with the flow of his writing.

May this book be an inspiration and a source of recognition for many.

Love,

Paula & Frank Spronk

I Am Water,Not The Wave

Mohit Mishra

Paperback

Hardcover

I Am Water,
Not The Wave